I've never been happier to be sick in my life!

Why, you ask, am I happy to be sick? Because I have (had?) a condition called Reiter's Syndrome. I got it after I had Salmonella poisoning. It causes severe arthritis in one or more joints, similar to rheumatoid arthritis. I didn't get many of the symptoms associated with it, but I got moderate conjunctivitis, and really severe arthritis. There was a time when I couldn't walk without help because of it. Both of my ankles, knees, hips, and my lower back were the worst, but my wrists and hands were also affected. My knuckles were huge, and they are still bigger than they used to be.

After the initial part cleared up, all I had left was slight pain in my lower back, which was not at all bad compared to what it used to be. I figured out after getting more active again that that was just caused by not using it, and my back problems cleared up after I started building muscle back. The problems came when I was sick though, as even a slight cold would bring back the severe arthritis in my left hip and right knee. For about a week or two after I was sick I would be limping because they were still stiff and sore. After a while the symptoms started lasting less and less time. But then I had a really bad infection in my head, and not much was taking care of it. Eventually it made the arthritis so bad it was like I had just gotten sick again. Once I had that corrected, it took a long time and a lot of healing for the arthritis to go away, and my hands were pretty weak grasping. But I've worked on that and it got better.

Well, I got sick the day after Spring Break started. Vomiting, coughing up phlegm, headaches, nausea. But, I've been smiling the whole time. Because I HAVE NO JOINT PAIN AT ALL! I shouldn't be too excited over this, because it doesn't necessarily mean that I won't ever have it again. But, it's hope. It's hope that every time I sniffle I won't be bedridden for a week, or even a day. It's hope that if I have to go to the doctor for the flu I can walk in instead of hobbling in like an 80 year old man or have to be taken in in a wheelchair. It's hope that people won't ask what happened to my leg every time a virus comes through. It's hope. I love hope.

Josh rocks, and plans for the future.

My boyfriend is awesome. For someone as overcritical as I am, it's confusing to me that he has nothing wrong with him.

I had a great time visiting him in Dallas. We clicked so perfectly. I was expecting the meeting to show the downsides, it wouldn't be the first time I met someone in person who was nothing they claimed to be online. But not only was he like he was, he was better.

So what are my plans for the future?

I was hoping he would move here after he graduated. But he's interning at a law firm, and they seem to really like him. The job he is interning for is looking someone, and they are offering 50k a year to start. He's pretty confident he's gonna be offered the job when his internship is done. So, that leaves it up to me to move there.

It wouldn't be the first time I've moved to Texas. Or the first time I moved to Texas for a guy for that matter. The first time ended up a big clusterfuck, so you'd think I'd have learned. But there are quite a few differences. One of the biggest is that the guy I am moving for isn't making me move. He's okay if I want to stay here to finish my degree. The last guy I moved for said if I didn't move he was gonna leave me. Second biggest is that this guy will be working, and not a college kid. My timing moving to Austin was pretty bad, the job market took a hit when Katrina hit New Orleans and a lot of survivors were moved to Austin. It looks like I may have a hard time finding a job there, but Josh knows this, and I'll be in school so there will be financial aid to cover the slack. Speaking of schooling, I'll be going to (hopefully) UT Dallas, who has a great Microbiology program, and even a degree in Forensic Biology. So I won't just be floating with nothing to do.

But the biggest difference is that Josh is perfect for me. I'm not settling because I think I need to just jump at whoever comes along. I'm not overlooking some things I don't like, because there are some things I do like. I passed by plenty of options before he came along. Josh doesn't have any mental disorders, he doesn't battle with depression. I won't be worrying that when I come home he'll be dead. He's not passive-aggressive. I won't have to try and guess what he wants or needs. He's plenty vocal about those things. I don't have to worry about him just agreeing with what I say, and I don't have to worry about him not being able to take a joke. It's so refreshing to be with someone who isn't trying to manipulate me. And it's so refreshing that I am in a position to be the same to him.

All the crap I dealt with with previous boyfriends were all worth it, because it made me who I am. If I never went through some things with them, then I'd miss out on this great thing with Josh.

People always say that the good men are gay or taken. Well, I found a good man, and I'm glad to say he's taken.

I'll most likely be moving to Dallas after this summer. I'm going to go visit this summer and we'll decide if it's a good idea or not. I'm not naive enough to say that everything is gonna be perfect and we'll be happy together forever.

But if we are gonna be together forever, I'm okay with that.

I want to help too, dammit.

Unfortunately I never remember most of the stuff I think about in my car on the way home. As soon as I get in the door I zombify and realize I have homework or studying or working. But this really pisses me off, so I am gonna share.

Friday as I was walking through the Student Center at school, I see a table set up. They have fliers with a picture of a boy who is dying. He needs a bone marrow transplant. They are looking for bone marrow donors. I think this is great, because so many people with diseases need a transplant to live. So I go up to the table to sign up. I look at the thing and it has a list of things that make you not eligible to donate. It's pretty much the same list for blood donation, which includes "Are you a man who has had sex with a man?" If you answer yes to that, then you are not eligible.

Now, I understand when AIDS and hiv first came out, that there was confusion about how hiv was transmitted. It was thought that it was a gay disease, so gay men were restricted from giving blood.

But that was in the 80s. Now they have a test to see if you have hiv. In fact, they have a test you can get results from in 15 minutes. Also, gay men are more likely to have been tested and know their status.

But alas, I am not able to donate blood, or bone marrow. Never mind that I have been tested for hiv numerous times, and I am negative. Not to mention I am immune to hiv. Doesn't matter that I still always have safe sex even though I am immune to the virus. They don't care that I am in a monogamous relationship with someone who is also hiv negative. Forget that I have a rare blood type and I could help a lot of other people who can only use my blood. None of that matters, because I am gay. I'm still blocked from donating.

While I was there arguing with someone why I should still be able to donate a girl came to get a swab to check her tissue type. I knew her, and decided to ask a few questions, in hearing range of the people doing the tests. I asked her how many sexual partners she has had in the past two years, and she said about 30. Then I asked how many of those she had used protection with. She said less than half. Then I asked if she had ever had an hiv test. She said no. Here's the kicker. Knowing all this, they still went through and let her do everything. While refusing me.

Here are the guidelines for blood donation.

You should not give blood if you have AIDS or have ever had a positive HIV test, or if you have done something that puts you at risk for becoming infected with HIV.

You are at risk for getting infected if you:

• have ever used needles to take drugs, steroids, or anything not prescribed by your doctor
• are a male who has had sexual contact with another male, even once, since 1977
• have ever taken money, drugs or other payment for sex since 1977
• have had sexual contact in the past 12 months with anyone described above
• received clotting factor concentrates for a bleeding disorder such as hemophilia
• were born in, or lived in, Cameroon, Central African Republic, Chad, Congo, Equatorial Guinea,Gabon, Niger, or Nigeria, since 1977.
• since 1977, received a blood transfusion or medical treatment with a blood product in any of these countries, or
• had sex with anyone who, since 1977, was born in or lived in any of these countries. Learn more about HIV Group O, and the specific African countries where it is found.

Seems a little outdated, no? Well they were revised 05/08/08. So, a woman can have sex with a bisexual man, not get tested, and give blood after a year. But a male who had sex once with a male 10 years ago and has been tested recently can never give blood.

So I would like to thank the Red Cross for telling me I am a horrible person if I don't see if I can help this poor boy with a rare blood type who needs a transplant, and then not letting me see if I can help him, even though I also have a rare blood type.

So, what should you do? If you're not a man who has had sex with a man, you should go donate blood. Get tested to see if you can donate marrow. While you are there, say that you're donating because a friend of yours can't. He's disease free, has a rare blood type, and wants to donate all the time, but he can't because of outdated guidelines. Any time you donate, make sure to let them know. As soon as the ban is lifted, I will donate as much as I can, every month. I'll be registered to donate marrow to help people out. Until then, I'm not allowed to help.