I want to help too, dammit.

Unfortunately I never remember most of the stuff I think about in my car on the way home. As soon as I get in the door I zombify and realize I have homework or studying or working. But this really pisses me off, so I am gonna share.

Friday as I was walking through the Student Center at school, I see a table set up. They have fliers with a picture of a boy who is dying. He needs a bone marrow transplant. They are looking for bone marrow donors. I think this is great, because so many people with diseases need a transplant to live. So I go up to the table to sign up. I look at the thing and it has a list of things that make you not eligible to donate. It's pretty much the same list for blood donation, which includes "Are you a man who has had sex with a man?" If you answer yes to that, then you are not eligible.

Now, I understand when AIDS and hiv first came out, that there was confusion about how hiv was transmitted. It was thought that it was a gay disease, so gay men were restricted from giving blood.

But that was in the 80s. Now they have a test to see if you have hiv. In fact, they have a test you can get results from in 15 minutes. Also, gay men are more likely to have been tested and know their status.

But alas, I am not able to donate blood, or bone marrow. Never mind that I have been tested for hiv numerous times, and I am negative. Not to mention I am immune to hiv. Doesn't matter that I still always have safe sex even though I am immune to the virus. They don't care that I am in a monogamous relationship with someone who is also hiv negative. Forget that I have a rare blood type and I could help a lot of other people who can only use my blood. None of that matters, because I am gay. I'm still blocked from donating.

While I was there arguing with someone why I should still be able to donate a girl came to get a swab to check her tissue type. I knew her, and decided to ask a few questions, in hearing range of the people doing the tests. I asked her how many sexual partners she has had in the past two years, and she said about 30. Then I asked how many of those she had used protection with. She said less than half. Then I asked if she had ever had an hiv test. She said no. Here's the kicker. Knowing all this, they still went through and let her do everything. While refusing me.

Here are the guidelines for blood donation.

You should not give blood if you have AIDS or have ever had a positive HIV test, or if you have done something that puts you at risk for becoming infected with HIV.

You are at risk for getting infected if you:

• have ever used needles to take drugs, steroids, or anything not prescribed by your doctor
• are a male who has had sexual contact with another male, even once, since 1977
• have ever taken money, drugs or other payment for sex since 1977
• have had sexual contact in the past 12 months with anyone described above
• received clotting factor concentrates for a bleeding disorder such as hemophilia
• were born in, or lived in, Cameroon, Central African Republic, Chad, Congo, Equatorial Guinea,Gabon, Niger, or Nigeria, since 1977.
• since 1977, received a blood transfusion or medical treatment with a blood product in any of these countries, or
• had sex with anyone who, since 1977, was born in or lived in any of these countries. Learn more about HIV Group O, and the specific African countries where it is found.

Seems a little outdated, no? Well they were revised 05/08/08. So, a woman can have sex with a bisexual man, not get tested, and give blood after a year. But a male who had sex once with a male 10 years ago and has been tested recently can never give blood.

So I would like to thank the Red Cross for telling me I am a horrible person if I don't see if I can help this poor boy with a rare blood type who needs a transplant, and then not letting me see if I can help him, even though I also have a rare blood type.

So, what should you do? If you're not a man who has had sex with a man, you should go donate blood. Get tested to see if you can donate marrow. While you are there, say that you're donating because a friend of yours can't. He's disease free, has a rare blood type, and wants to donate all the time, but he can't because of outdated guidelines. Any time you donate, make sure to let them know. As soon as the ban is lifted, I will donate as much as I can, every month. I'll be registered to donate marrow to help people out. Until then, I'm not allowed to help.